A Jerk to Trust
by Sofiakkuma
Summary: [Parental!Royed] [Collection of one-shots] [Brotherhood-verse] "The colonel may be a creep and a jerk, but at least we can trust him." A collection of drabbles revolving around Roy and Ed going through thick and thin together.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Fullmetal Alchemist and all of its characters belongs to Hiromu Arakawa

 **Rated: T** for violence and coarse language

 **Timeline:** Brotherhood-verse

 **Summary:** Drabble #1 - When Roy receives an anonymous call stating that they have his youngest subordinate, he knew the day wasn't going to be as peaceful as he wanted it to be.

* * *

They were being held at gunpoint, their hands above their heads.

There were three men; three enemies, who had managed to catch them all in a bind like this.

Two of the men were grasping onto a snarling kid who continuously shouted profanities, attempting to escape. They each had a firm clutch on one of the boy's arms as he kicked out his legs repeatedly, trying to break out of the painful grip. The men, however, didn't loosen their holds, and found enjoyment in watching the kid struggle.

The leader of the three stood in front of his comrades with his back to them, holding the pistol currently aiming at a raven-haired man and his trusted lieutenant. His dark brown hair and clothing were ruffled and dirty, and his green eyes had a glint in them that spoke of malicious satisfaction. He steadied the gun right on the colonel's heart while retaining a keen eye on the woman soldier.

Roy glared at this disgusting man, hating to admit that he was useless in the current situation.

A couple hours before, Roy had gotten an anonymous call in his office that started this whole fiasco. The gruff voice over the phone stated that if Roy didn't come to a certain location, he would kill off his youngest subordinate, and to prove that the call wasn't fake, Roy got to hear the pained grunts of Ed getting punched and kicked around like a rag doll.

It was then that Roy got the sudden urge to set the building on fire.

He called out to his team, quickly organizing a rescue unit so he could get to Ed as soon as possible. A few moments later, Alphonse came running into the office, frantically asking where his brother had went.

Roy let him come along, knowing the bond those two brothers had. It was rare to see them without each other.

Once they arrived at the abandoned warehouse, Roy addressed everyone on his team to stay behind so he could scout the area first. He called for Hawkeye to come with him; he needed someone to watch his back after all.

The moment he and Hawkeye stepped in the room Fullmetal was in, they had a gun shoved in their faces. They barely had time to react, and it was too late to try anything now unless they wanted a bullet lodged in their chests.

Roy was demanded to take off his gloves while Hawkeye had to drop her weapon, everything coming full circle.

Hands in the air, both Roy and Riza glared at the three men, wondering why this "meeting" had been called upon. Roy was pissed at the leader's ploy of abusing his youngest subordinate in order to get in contact with him.

Looking over at Edward, Roy could see that the kid was missing his signature red coat and black jacket, leaving his automail to reflect off of the little amount of light there was left in the room. The kid's flesh arm was covered in bruises and his face was caked in blood, but he still held that flame of determination in his eyes, causing Roy to feel a pinch of pride.

Roy was snapped out of his thoughts and turned back to the leader when he heard that same gruff voice call his name.

"So, Roy Mustang, it seems we finally get to meet," the leader spoke with authority in his deep voice.

"Unfortunately," Roy spit out disgustingly.

The leader just glared at him, but regained his sinister smile when he addressed his comrades. "Can you shut him up back there, please? I'm trying to have a conversation."

Ed flared in anger, struggling once more to get out of his captors' hold. "You bastard, you better let us go or I'll-!" Ed was cut off when he received a sudden punch to the left side of his face, causing his body to propel to the right.

Watching this, Roy quickly stepped forward and shouted, _"Don't you dare touch him!"_ he snarled.

The leader motioned to his gun, silently telling Mustang what would happen if he took another step. He chuckled to himself as he watched the display. "What's wrong, Mustang? Don't tell me you actually care about the kid. We all know you just used him to further your own goals."

Not wanting to give the bastard a reaction, Roy just ignored the question and got straight to the point. "Why the hell did you want me to come here?"

Shrugging at his question being avoided, the leader replied with another. "What I want to know is why you brought someone with you when the instructions were to come alone," he spoke, gesturing to Hawkeye who had been silently listening. She shot the leader a fierce scowl, wishing she had her gun in her hands at the moment.

"Do you really think he's that dumb? You must not be that smart if you think he'd come here without backup-" Ed started again with a sarcastic tongue, just to be punched in the stomach by the guy holding his flesh arm. His body crumpled inwards as he sucked in lumps of air.

As much as Ed's mordant remarks reassured Roy that the kid was alright, he wordlessly wished Ed would be quiet and not get himself hurt for once.

"No, you're right, Fullmetal," the leader spoke, "I knew he wouldn't come alone, but I wasn't expecting this. You're the Hawk's Eye, aren't you? The lieutenant that's always seen with Mustang?" When he received nothing but a threatening look, he smirked and continued, "All three of you are pretty famous here in Amestris, and I could earn a good bit of money if I were to shoot you all right here and drag you to the Drachmans."

"So that's what this is all about? Money? You kidnapped a child," Hawkeye spoke for the first time, infuriated by this man's actions.

"I did, but he's also part of the prize, so I couldn't just skip an amazing opportunity to capture him as well. I'm surprised I even did. Who knew that the annoying brat would cave in when mentioning his brother."

"Shut the hell up! Leave my brother out of this, you sick bastard!" Ed shouted, kicking his legs and once more trying to escape after hearing the man's true plans.

By the minute, Roy learned that he began to loathe this man more and more each time he spoke. All Roy wanted to do was scorch the man alive for starting all of this and dragging his other subordinates into it.

It was clear to anyone that the leader was getting frustrated with Ed's yelling. Roy could see bruises on all of the men, knowing that Fullmetal did not go down so easily without a fight.

The leader, still keeping a close eye on Roy and Riza, walked over to Ed and grabbed the front of his shirt, "Don't you ever stop talking, you annoying brat? I should shoot you in the goddamn face for all the shit you've pulled."

Ed just looked up at the man and spit blood in his face, "Try it then."

Suddenly, Ed was struck in the face with the pistol, causing the cut on his forehead to start bleeding. He snarled and head bumped the leader under the chin, causing the man to step back. The two guys holding Ed grew shocked, and now it was his chance.

Ed kicked out his automail leg and hit the ankle of the man to his left. He ripped his flesh arm free when the grip on it loosened, and swiftly swung to his right to hit the other man straight in the face.

However, the two men recovered quickly and one grabbed Ed's braid, causing him to yelp and get pulled backwards. The other punched him in the abdomen and grabbed his arms, holding them behind his back. Ed was shoved to the ground on his stomach, but never ceased his struggling. "Get your damn hands off me!"

Roy growled to himself, wanting to burn these bastards' hands for touching Ed. His eyes widened when he saw where the pistol was now pointed at. "Fullmetal!"

The leader watched all of this with murderous intent, having enough of the child's antics. He aimed his gun at Ed, who was scowling up at him. "You're more trouble than you're worth, dog."

He rested his finger on the trigger and pulled it down.

 _BANG!_

It seemed like time had frozen. Roy stood there shocked, his hazy mind trying to figure out what happened. He saw smoke rising in the air to his right, and slowly turned his head.

There, he saw Hawkeye holding two pistols, smoke coming out of one of the barrels. The gun she originally had was still on the ground, meaning that the guns she had now were previously concealed.

Roy couldn't thank this amazing woman enough.

The leader screamed as he dropped his pistol, his right hand being shot. He grabbed onto it, trying to stop the bleeding, but the pain wouldn't go away.

Hawkeye trained her guns on all of them, giving them warning glares in case they tried to move for the weapon their leader had just released.

Roy briskly grabbed his gloves and slipped them on, snapping his fingers to burn each of the men's arms that were holding onto Ed. "Hawkeye, get our reinforcements."

She nodded and ran out the door, leaving Roy to watch the men. He glared at the leader, sending another small flame to burn his hands. "That's what you get for laying your hands on my subordinate," he said, a cold chill to his voice.

Ed slowly sat up, coughing as he wiped the blood from his mouth. He crawled backwards away from the men, not having the strength to get up, and grunted as he moved.

The three men were on the ground, helpless as they held onto their burnt wounds. Roy picked up the leader's pistol and aimed it at them, just for good measure.

When Hawkeye returned, she brought in the rest of Mustang's unit to start arresting the kidnappers. Roy sighed in relief, glad that this nightmare was over, and turned to look for Ed.

Once he saw the boy's state, he quickly ran over. "Fullmetal! Are you alright?" he asked, crouching in front of him and grabbing onto his shoulders.

Roy felt that same sense of pride when Ed looked up at him and grinned. "Those bastards didn't know what they had coming to them."

Roy smirked. "That's right. Who did they think they were messing with? We don't go down so easily."

Ed chuckled and grabbed onto Roy's jacket. "I'm surprised you lasted that long. I thought old age would've made you tired."

"Hey! I'm not that old!"

Ed laughed, and Roy realized how much he wished the kid could laugh like that all the time instead of worrying about getting injured or kidnapped.

Putting an arm around Ed's waist, Roy helped the kid stand up, steadying him so he wouldn't fall. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

Ed nodded and struggled to get up, but appreciated Mustang's help no less. He looked over at his superior and asked, "Colonel? Al's safe, right?"

Roy gave Ed a reassuring smile. "Yeah, he's just outside. You'll get to see him when we're out there."

He didn't receive an answer, but knew the boy was relieved to hear his brother was okay.

They began to walk, silently taking slow steps to get outside with a few soft apologies and pained grunts here and there.

Right before they reached the main door, Roy heard Ed's voice speak softly, "Hey, colonel... thanks.. for showing up."

Roy just smirked, subconsciously holding onto Ed just a little tighter, not ever wanting to let the boy go again. "Don't mention it, shrimp."

 _"Hey!"_

* * *

 **Author's Note:** My submission for day 2 of Parental!Royed Week: Protect or Sacrifice :'D

This story will mostly contain headcanons of mine that I have for these two dorks, and while I'm not sure how often I'm going to be updating this, I'll try my best!

I love parental!royed so much and I think it's a really important platonic relationship in the show.

I'm so happy I was motivated enough to finish this. Thanks for reading!

-Sofia


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Fullmetal Alchemist and all of its characters belongs to Hiromu Arakawa

 **Rated: K+** for mild coarse language

 **Timeline:** Brotherhood-verse

 **Summary:** Drabble #2 - Headcanon: Roy went with Ed to help him pick out and buy the clothes Ed wears in Brotherhood since he knows nothing about fashion and needed some guidance

* * *

Edward grumbled as he entered the clothing store, walking behind Mustang with his hands shoved into the pockets of his red coat.

It wasn't everyday that Ed spent walking around Central with Mustang. Yeah, sure Mustang would sometimes take him and his brother to nice restaurants and pay for everything, and sure he would give them rides places if they needed one, but it was only because they both constantly owed debts to each other. That was it, so it was still weird for Ed to be with his commanding officer in such a casual manner, and to see him in civilian clothes no less.

Not to mention that the reason Mustang was even with him right now was to go shopping together. For clothes. For Ed.

"Why do you have to be here anyway? I'm perfectly capable of handling this on my own!" Ed shouted as he closed the door behind him, alerting the employees of their presence.

Roy smirked, stopping to look around for a place to start shopping. "Because, Fullmetal, I'm sick of seeing you in that flashy red coat all the time. You need a new wardrobe and a new sense of style. Your fashion choices are pretty horrifying and I'm scared of the results of you shopping on your own."

"Hey! My style's badass!" Ed retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "What makes you think you're an expert on fashion anyway?"

Roy glanced down at what he was wearing; a white button-down shirt, an olive-colored vest on top with a black tie tucked underneath, black khaki pants, nice black shoes, and a black coat to go over his vest. He straightened up his tie as he spoke, "I never said I was an expert, Fullmetal, but my sense of taste is definitely more preferable to yours." His eyes glazed over the store once more until they stopped at the shirt section. He gestured for Ed to follow him. "Come on, let's see what they have here."

Ed muttered something under his breath about idiot colonels and begrudgingly stayed behind Mustang.

When Roy reached the section, he halted to look at some of the button-down shirts they had. He felt the texture and checked if they wouldn't be too much of a hassle to clean since who knows when Ed took the time to wash his clothes.

He glanced back at Ed to see him picking at his automail hand. He wondered why the boy was suddenly being so quiet, but decided to ignore it for now.

Grabbing a couple different colored shirts in the smallest size, Roy stepped up to Ed and handed them to him. "Here. Try these on."

Ed looked surprised as he was given the shirts, taking them from Roy's hands as he began to scowl. "Do I have to try on all of these?"

Putting a hand on Ed's back and guiding him to the dressing room, Roy chuckled and nodded, "Yes, now come on. The faster you try them on, the quicker we can get out of here."

Ed continued to grumble as he closed the curtain, quickly getting his coat, jacket, and tank off to slip on a white button-down shirt.

Roy waited patiently on the other side, standing back against a wall while crossing his arms and drumming his fingers. "Come out when you're ready so I can see how it looks."

"Yeah, yeah.." Ed spoke, staying inside the dressing room but opening up the curtain so Mustang could see. He looked at himself in the mirror, tugging on the collar and sleeves that were longer than his arms. "I don't think this fits me, colonel," Ed stated ashamedly.

Roy smiled softly and walked over, grabbing the sleeves of Ed's shirt. "That's because you're supposed to fold up the sleeves," he voiced, turning the cloth over until Ed's hands were visible. He stepped back and analyzed the fit. "It looks good on you. Do you like it?"

Ed nodded, a bit embarrassed by his lack of knowledge on fashion. "Yeah, it's nice, but it's just so plain. Where are all the flames and skulls? That would make it cooler!" Ed proclaimed, placing his hands on his hips.

Slapping a palm over his face, Roy sighed, hoping that they didn't actually sell anything like that in the store. "Fullmetal, I don't think any girls are going to be interested in you if you wear something like that."

Immediately, Ed's face grew red and he began to scratch the back of his head. "Yeah, well, who says I care about what Winry thinks? She's just a lousy gearhead!"

Roy blinked as he registered what Ed had just said. "Winry? Your automail mechanic? But I didn't even mention her."

After a few moments, it suddenly clicked for both of them, causing Ed to look like a tomato and for Roy to form a huge smirk on his face.

"I see. So you're in love with Miss Rockbell, are you?" Roy said teasingly, sliding his hands into the pockets of his pants.

"N-no, I'm not!" Ed frantically shouted, stumbling over his words. "She's just the only girl that I'm really friends with so of course she would come to mind!"

"Don't worry, Fullmetal!" Roy began in an obnoxiously confident voice, his fist raised in the air, "I will make sure that the clothes I pick out for you today will woo your mechanic in a heartbeat!"

" _Colonel!"_ Ed cried out, still blushing like crazy.

Roy laughed, raising his hands in front of him in a placating gesture. "Alright, alright, I'm done teasing. Go hurry up and try the rest of those on," he said calmly.

"Bastard." Ed walked back into the dressing room and swiftly closed the curtain.

The process continued on for a while; Ed would put on a different shirt and come out for Roy to see. If it didn't look right or if Ed didn't like it, they would put it back. They ended up picking out about 10 different shirts.

Finding shoes was also an easy task. Roy had Ed try on a couple pairs of plain and casual black shoes that could go with anything. Ed also chose a pair of black leather boots and Roy almost didn't let him get them. Eventually he allowed it though since the boy didn't ever ask for much, even if some of those things were unusual.

It was no wonder Ed still had a weird sense of style; he was a teenager after all.

Not that Roy really knew. He grew up in a brothel with a bunch of sisters. He always had to look nice and his sisters never hesitated in helping him dress up.

He could at least let the two brothers have a little bit of a childhood to experience.

Right after they collected the shoes they were going to buy, Roy and Ed moved on to coats.

They both compromised, Ed wanting long coats similar to his red one while Roy chose them in different colors such as black and brown.

The last thing they needed to search for were pants. Roy examined one aisle while Ed looked through another. Roy pretty much had an idea of the boy's style by now, and tried to mostly look for dark colors. He found a couple pairs of black leather pants that he figured Ed would like, and held them up to show him. "What about these?"

Peeking his head out, Ed took a glance at the articles and nodded. "Yeah, I'll try those on." He scuttled up to Mustang and grabbed the items, scampering back into the dressing room.

Mustang smiled softly as he watched the boy pull the curtain closed. He couldn't describe the feeling, but being here with Ed and helping him shop for clothes just felt normal. He never questioned his motives for taking up his free time to help Ed, and he didn't have anything to gain from this either. It was like he did it on instinct, and he never thought twice about it.

He continued to wait in the same position as earlier, yawning as it began to get dark outside. He had to wait until after work to take Ed clothes shopping, so they started pretty late in the day to begin with. There was only about an hour or so left before the store closed.

Roy lingered at his spot for a little longer until he began to get worried. Ed hadn't responded in a bit, and he wondered what was holding the boy up. "Fullmetal?"

He didn't receive an answer right away, but after waiting a little more, he finally heard a soft voice from behind the curtain. "Colonel.. are these the smallest sizes here?"

"Yeah, why?" Roy replied, confused by the question.

"Well.. they don't fit me." Ed pulled open the curtain, his face clearly displaying his embarrassment.

Looking down, Roy concluded that the pants were indeed too long, and were bunching up at Ed's ankles. He chuckled, which caused Ed to glare at him and feel even more humiliated.

"Shut up! It's not my fault these stupid pants are too big!"

Roy waved his hand, trying to calm Ed down. "No, no, I'm not laughing at you, Fullmetal. You just get too worked up over nothing." He chuckled some more, beginning to take the other pairs of pants that Ed was going to try on. "We'll just get them hemmed, that's all."

Ed nodded and looked away. "I kinda figured. I've had to get stuff hemmed before anyway, so," he spoke, scratching his cheek with his finger.

Roy smiled down at the boy, not wanting to make this any more difficult for him. "Alright then. I'll go ask the store clerk."

Ed watched as Roy gathered up all the trousers and went to speak to the lady at the front desk. He wondered why the colonel was doing all of this, and if he had some ulterior motive. Even so, Ed couldn't deny the fact that he was enjoying himself. He never really had an experience like this before, and Mustang being there to help him out made him feel wanted.

When Roy returned with the store clerk, Ed let the woman make measurements on all the pairs of pants they picked out. He got dressed once again in his signature outfit and grabbed the 3 bags full of items they planned on buying. Roy came over to take one of them, and gestured for Ed to follow him.

They went up to the front desk and the lady explained how she would have the pants fully hemmed and ready for pickup the next day. Roy nodded and told her he would come by after work to grab them.

The clerk checked all the bags and rang up the price; 75,000 cenz. Ed quickly reached into his pocket to check how much money he had when Mustang stopped him.

"Don't worry, Fullmetal, I'll pay for it."

Ed watched in awe as Mustang fished out the correct amount of cenz and handed it to the lady. They got ready to go, and when they stepped out of the store, Ed couldn't help but glare at his commanding officer.

Noticing the suspicious look on Edward's face, Roy sighed and rotated around to face him. "What is it, Fullmetal?"

"What do you get out of all of this? Do you want me to pay you back later or something? Do you a favor or help you with your reputation-"

"Of course not! Can't I just do something nice for once without my motives being doubted?" Roy whined.

"No, because you're Colonel Bastard!"

"Where is the logic in that statement!?"

"There doesn't need to be any!"

Roy grabbed the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, trying to become cool and collected once again. He gazed at Ed who was still scowling at him and spoke placidly, "I did it because I wanted to. I'm not expecting you to do me a favor later or anything, I just wanted to help you out."

Ed's frown lightened up a little. "I'm not some little kid you know."

"I never said you were," Roy spoke seriously.

Ed continued to softly glare at Mustang for a bit longer, until he looked down and readjusted the two bags he was holding in his hands. A smirk suddenly grew on his face and he looked up to face the colonel again. "Alright, but I better not hear you asking me later to pay you back then, Colonel. And speaking of debts, you still owe me for the work I did on the last case!" Ed proclaimed, pointing one hand at Mustang.

Roy's eyes widened. "Couldn't helping you shop for clothes be payment?"

Ed beamed as he placed his hands on his hips. "Nope! But.. maybe if you drive me back to my dorm and help me put these clothes away, that'll be enough," he suggested, grinning at the colonel as Mustang smiled back.

Roy reached his free hand out to ruffle Ed's hair and chuckled, "You really are an amazing kid," he genuinely stated, causing Ed to undergo that same feeling of being wanted again.

They both walked to Roy's car and placed their bags in the backseat. Roy climbed in the right side where the steering wheel was while Ed sat in the passenger seat to his left.

As Mustang began to drive, Ed leaned against the window and watched the scenery go by. Even if going shopping with the colonel was at first a weird scenario, he enjoyed it and had so much to thank the man for.

Maybe the colonel wasn't such a bastard after all.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

After reading clois4ever30's take on my headcanon, it inspired me to try it out on my own!

I rushed this chapter a little bit and I'm not the most proud of it, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!

I also wanted to thank everyone who favorited, reviewed, and followed this story. It really means a lot to me and gives me the motivation to write, so thank you so so much !

-Sofia


End file.
